"What on earth has you so riled up Mews? Indeed, what is that oddly shaped object?"
"I'm not sure. Some sort of aquatic beast. Oh, but, oh isn't it a crack up Quigs?" Mews is laughing so hard he can barely get the words out. "It's the strangest creature. I do believe its eyes are on the ends of those two wriggling stalks. Here, come closer and take a look my friend."
I'm not so sure Mews. Where exactly did it come from? It could be toxic, indeed, poisonous, no? You say you found it on your doorstep? Who on earth leaves strange snails on doorsteps?"
"Goodness you've become so suspicious lately Quiqley. It's a harmless little prank. Come, I've got a pot of Oolong brewing. It'll smooth out all of those paranoid feelings you've been having lately."
"Paranoid, you say? Perhaps I'm just not quite as reckless with my curiosity as you Mews."