Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Mr Mews Takes An Unexpected Trip

"Oh hello there, Mews here.  I just wanted to apologize for the gap in my latest mystery-if you can believe it I've been called out of town on unrelated business but I'll be back this week on the trail of McBain's blackmailer.  Stay tuned and help me get this case solved!"

Monday, March 21, 2011

Quigley Pursues Jimmy Scape, the Angry Blogger

"Nope," Quigley said setting down the phone.  "Jimmy Scape still won't answer.  What a rude fellow," he said dialing again.

"Hang up the phone," Mews said.  "I'm going to send you down to the bar Jimmy Scape spends his evenings blogging Quigs.  Here's the address," Mews said handing him a torn slip of paper.  "If he won't come to us, we'll come to him.  Now, off with you Quigley.  I've got some thinking to do."

Friday, March 18, 2011

Fern Discusses her Love Life

"Regis and I met at a charity event last year-we chatted only briefly and then he called me several weeks later and asked me out on a date," Fern said.  "I told him no several times but he was very persistent.  I finally accepted thinking at least it would be interesting to see what Regis "McPain" was like in person.  Turns out he was very sweet, and nothing like his radio personality," Fern added.  "I'm afraid I don't have much to add that Regis hasn't already told you.  Except that we did run into Jon Lenin at the Sacred Cow Coffee shop the other day.  If glaring is a crime then I'd have to say that Jon would've gotten arrested.  He's none too happy that Regis and I are an item and he's been quite vocal about it in our circle of friends.  You see, Jon Lenin and I dated a few years ago.  But I'm sure he has nothing to do with this case Mews.  He's just bitter that I broke up with him-he was married to his work, a real martyr for the cause that one."  She paused briefly and then continued in a whisper.  "I have my suspicions about that guy Jimmy Scape, you know the blogger.  He's had it in for Regis from the start and he's got connections, you know, with bad news types."

"And how do you know that Ms Butterfield?" Quigley asked.  Fern blushed.

"Well, I kinda dated Jimmy Scape a while back too."


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Meet Fern Butterfield

"It's so nice to meet you Mr Mews.  Regis has told me only good things about you," Fern Butterfield said as she entered Mr Mews' apartment.  Quigley looked out into the hall before he closed the door behind her.  "Oh, Millicent couldn't make it.  She had some sort of audition today," Fern said slipping out of a canvas jacket.  

"Oh, well that's too bad," Quigley said looking disappointed.  Mr Mews pulled a chair out from the dining room table and offered it to Fern.  "Just in time for tea-do you take cream or sugar?" Mews asked.  Fern shook her head.

"No, I'm lactose and fructose intolerant.  I'm on a strict macrobiotic diet," she said pushing hair off of her shoulder with a thin hand.

"Well, you'd have a heck of a time finding something to eat around here," Quigley said chortling.  "I'm afraid Mews is a strict carnivore!"
"Yes, well," Mews said uncomfortably, "let's not waste anymore of Ms Butterfield's time shall we Quigs?  Now, Fern, if I might call you that.  Won't you tell us how you and Regis McBain first met?"

Monday, March 14, 2011

Quigley and Mews Make Plans

"It's time to finish interviewing the last of the suspects Quigs.  Strange thing though, I can't seem to get a hold of the final three on the phone," Mews said.

"Refresh my memory Mews-let's see we have Ham "The Operator" Radio, Charlie Poker the gambling addict and who else?"  Quigley asked.

"Jimmy Scape.   The enraged blogger," Mews responded.
"Don't forget Fern Butterfield," Quigley added.  "I happen to be one step ahead of you on the Butterfield front Mews.  We have a lunch date with her this week," Quigley said.  "Millicent will be accompanying her as well for moral support," he added.  

"I see, so your girlfriend will be in attendance," Mews stated.

"Oh, no, she's not my girlfriend anymore Mews.  We have resolved that matter, or don't you recall?"

"Perhaps my memory is a little faulty on that matter," Mews said with a twinkle in his eye.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

He Won't Back Down

"Well, I'm sure as h*** not pulling my show!"  McBain exclaimed.  As he spoke his thick mustache swayed.

"No, of course that won't do," Mews said reviewing the note.  "It does shed some light on the blackmailer.  It does seem by the person's request that the blackmailer is politically motivated."

"It does Mews," Quigley offered.  "But it doesn't necessarily mean that the blackmailer is a political rival.  It could be that the blackmailer just wants to see McBain go down."  Mews nodded and then drew his attention to McBain who was pulling something out from the side of his jacket.

"In any case I'm ready for this jackwagon next time he messes with Regis McPain," McBain said producing a small black pistol.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

F is for Forever

"I received this in the mail this morning," McBain said breathlessly handing Mews a letter without a return address.  Quigley was busy plucking black hairs out of his toes and beak as Mews read the letter aloud. 

"Regis McBain,  this letter is to inform you that you will no longer be blackmailed provided you perform one action.  That action is to take yourself off the air.  Forever.  Yours, X."

Monday, March 7, 2011

A Misunderstanding

"Mews!   Get that flying rodent off my beard!"  At this, Quigley hopped away from McBain as the DJ struggled to regain his composure.  "Good grief, what is going on?"  McBain asked.  Quigley hopped down from the stairs in the building lobby and looked at Mews.

"I thought he was going to attack you Mews," Quigley said.

"Attack Mews!  You're crazy, one crazy bird," McBain said smoothing out his mustache.

"So why are you wearing a hooded coat and sneaking around Mews' building?" Quigley asked.

"I'm wearing this hood so I don't get hassled-but apparently that doesn't work.  Should I have to explain myself Mews?"

"No," Mews said looking at Quigley.  "Quigs, we had an impromptu meeting today-simple as that.  McBain has some new information for us," Mews said as Quigley avoided eye contact.  "Why don't we step inside and forget that this all happened," Mews said taking the lead.   

"Easy for you to say Mews," McBain said glaring at Quigley.  "You aren't the one getting attacked every other day." 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Quigley Strikes!

While Mews has been busy conducting interviews, Quigley has been busy trailing McBain and Mews in hopes of exposing their stalkers.  Quigley quietly hopped from tree branch to tree branch, power line to roof top when he spotted a cloaked figure emerging from an alley way as Mews wrestled with an armful of grocery bags and library books on the sidewalk near his building.  Quigley waited until Mews opened the door of the building to swoop in and peck the cloaked figure out of their hooded garments only to finally reveal a familiar looking face...  

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

An Angry Producer

"I'm sure I know who's behind all this blackmailing crap," Scarlett White said as she dug around inside of her massive leather purse.  "It's Jon Lenin-I'm sure of it-or one of his lefty minions.  They've staged so many protests outside of KPX it's not even funny.  There was another one just last week-about thirty unemployed wack-jobs with nothing better to do than protest the fact that McBain said that Senator Strawberry would be better off barefoot and pregnant than legislating for constituents.  It was a joke-man, can't anyone take a freakin' joke any more?  McBain's a sexist, McBain's a racist-it's all we hear Mews."  Scarlett White pulled out a tube of lipstick and reapplied her Cherry Bomb. "The reality is that McBain's producer is none other than moi, a female and his screener's a black man.  It drives me nuts Mews-and now he's being blackmailed?  Unreal.  Nobody can take controversy anymore, debate is over unless you're prepared for a thousand lawsuits and an internet smear campaign that makes the Civil War look like a sewing bee."  Mews was waiting for a pause in conversation but Scarlett White presumably did not breath when she talked.  "You know Mews, I wouldn't be surprised if this Fern Butterfield chick is behind the whole thing.  I bet Jon Lenin hired her to be McBain's girlfriend just to get those photos in the first place!"

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Chat with the Producer

"Mr Mews, hi, Scarlett White.  Yes, nice to meet you too.  No tea for me-you know I really don't have a lot of time-I'm really busy these days and with Regis having basically a mental breakdown every day-well, I've got my hands full.  The faster you can crack this case the better dude cuz I can't afford to lose my most popular DJ."
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