"Oh dear," Mews says drearily. "Controversy looms and threatens my presence on Facebook where a gentlecat is able to connect with other gentlecats. My quiet Sunday is leading towards an agitated Monday. You know what really chases my tail? Facebook is calling me 'fake.' Fake! I assure you there is nothing fake about me. I must say I'm appalled at such accusations. A gentleman is inclined to get angry and accuse them of all manner of impropriety.
Apparently, Facebook claims that they want to maintain the integrity of their site by keeping people "real" but I suspect they have no use for gentlecats since they won't be crawling our data and using it for future marketing purposes. Honestly, fake. How dare they? It's catscrimination at its ugliest! I shall send for Quigley and have him bring over his finest port to calm my nerves."