Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Mews and Quigley Review the Prime Suspects

"I shall go down the list and give you a quick overview of the suspects Quigley.  Are you ready?" 

"Go ahead Mews.  My brain is much clearer today-I'm listening and taking notes," Quigley said reaching for a pad of paper.  Mews picked up his own notebook and began to describe the suspects in no particular order.

Scarlett White, The Producer
"Scarlett White is the producer of Regis McBain's daily show, "No McPain No Gain."  While they generally get along, McBain claims that Scarlett White has increasingly grown distant and resentful after McBain turned down her advances at the water cooler several months ago."
Ham "The Operator" Radio  
"Ham the Operator Radio is a younger, lesser known but more antagonistic protege of McBain's.  He's also widely known around the studio for coveting McBain's very desirable nine to noon time slot and for accusing McBain of "getting soft" over the years."   
Jon Lenin, The Embittered Marxist  
"Jon and McBain were best friends in their early radio days before their political affiliations ripped them apart.  Jon Lenin was especially offended by McBain in recent years when McBain publicly made fun of his rival's outdated facial hair while suggesting on air that Lenin was about as hip as a lawyer at a doorknob convention."
Imelda Marcus McBain, The Angry Ex-Wife
"Perhaps, Quigley, you remember their famously wicked divorce five years ago?  Imelda Marcus McBain held little back when it came to their private affairs and her expensive taste.  She is most famous for a statement she made on the front steps of the courthouse after the finalization of their divorce proceedings in which she stated, "I'd rather spend an eternity shopping at K-mart than spend one more day in that courtroom with that man!"
Jimmy Scape, The Enraged Blogger  
"Mr Scape has been an antagonizing figure in the blogosphere since blogging took its first breath.  When he's not online dreaming up especially creative euphemisms for his blog "Regis McBain is a Big Pile of Poop" he devotes his time to artisan cheese making and rock climbing."

Charlie Poker, The Gambler 
"Charlie Poker, Quigley, is not really politically motivated.  But he has been known around town for getting involved in nefarious activities in order to pay off his rather bulky gambling debts.  I myself had a run in with Charlie Poker not long ago when he tried to involve me in some dreadful timeshare scheme.  Well, good thing I did a little investigation before I ended up calling the police from a studio apartment in Blue Goose Bucksnort Tennessee."  

"Goodness sakes Mews-good thing you escaped from that predator.  Now really, everyone on this list at first glance looks as guilty as the next."

"I agree Quigs, at first glance the mystery oft seems impenetrable.  That's why we take baby steps towards the truth Quigs," Mews said setting his notebook down.

"Baby steps!" Quigley exclaimed.  "A good rule to live by Mews!" 


  1. Huh. Who could it be? So many options.

  2. At first I thought it was Mr. Scape, but if he makes good cheeses, he can't be all bad.

  3. Quite the list of suspects. The blogger did it. It is always the blogger.

  4. As publisher at Cozy Cat Press, it is obvious to me that what this world needs is more good cat mystery reviewers such as you, Mr. Mews.


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